The side effect of living in a society that promotes an endless pursuit of joy and happiness, is that it can feel particularly difficult when going through what feels like the opposite.
It was 80's workout Queen and renowned 20th century philosopher, Jane Fonda, who popularised the phrase "no pain, no gain" in her exercise videos; teaching us that, in a controlled environment, enduring pain and discomfort can have a positive effect on our physical health.
Maybe we could take a similar approach to our mental health and see if there’s anything we can take from Fonda's lycra-clad words.
Whether as individuals or as a society, and though it may not be obvious at the time, sometimes pain and discomfort is a step in the process of growth - even more so, when we see it as that. Here are some considerations to help us do so:
Don't avoid it: there's a difference between doing things to make us feel better, and suppressing or avoiding pain - which is unlikely to make it go away. While taking care of ourselves, focusing on the pain gets to the core of it.
Focus on what can be controlled: when times are hard, we have a tendency to blame others or wish things were different. The only way we can grow from pain is from focusing on what is within our capability to improve it.
Ask "What good can come from this?" and move towards it: There is always something - and we can lose hope, if we tell ourselves there isn't. Find it and make that the goal.
Talk about it: To get it out of our own heads. Hear a new perspective. Collaborate. Let people know where the pain or discomfort is, allowing them to work with us to resolve it.
Nothing is permanent, anything is possible: We can all think of a time when something has felt painful but which worked out OK in the end; maybe even better than it was before. Anything is possible if we believe it can be.
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