Close and intense confinement can easily bring out the worst in us.
But whether you're living in quarantined bliss or driving eachother up the wall, we'd all be lucky to go our whole lives without, at some point, being stuck with someone we don't always agree with. So, as always, these lessons from a lockdown can go much further.
Also as always, every person is different - let alone two or more people together. Some people are toxic and bad for our health and wellbeing; with whom compromise or understanding may be difficult to find, if not impossible.
Nonetheless, while conflict is sometimes necessary, the world is full of unnecessary and avoidable conflict, on all levels of society. So whether these points can be applied to your current situation or not, the more we remind ourselves of them, the more we'll all benefit.
Here are a few ideas and considerations for dealing with conflict:
Focus on the solution - instead of eachothers' faults and traits.
Observe yourself - be aware of what you're contributing to a situation, your passive aggression, biases, tone of voice and subtle actions. They can be difficult to spot, but change always starts with yourself.
Listen and don't judge - everybody has their own feelings, fears, desires and needs, to be heard and understood. Find out theirs and show you care about addressing them.
Communicate - equally, what are your needs and desires and are you communicating them clearly? Communicate how you feel and the boundaries you need to protect those feelings, rather than just telling someone else how you think they should behave.
Break the cycle - it's likely that patterns are being followed that lead to conflict, so look out for them. Can you break the cycle by acting or reacting differently or stepping out as conflict is emerging?
Arrange a time to talk about it - rather than only discuss this stuff in the heat of an argument, schedule a time to do it rationally. Or if you want to go all-in, schedule a regular meeting to discuss what's going right or wrong, in whatever type of close relationship you're in.
Let go of your ego - rise above it. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Don't take it personally. Be light-hearted. Easier said than done, but going ego-less will help the points above to look after themselves.
Read more about how understanding others can have positive effects on you and society overall.
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